Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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yolo your orange looks orange

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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Gustavo Andrade

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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once upon a time, it snowed

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops