What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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poop.

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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