WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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There were two men 1 says "hey stupid" and the other man says "Yeah"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Wanna hear a joke? Ruddell had sex.

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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