Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

What's circular and round A circle

Knock knock Whose there? 4

What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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