What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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Feminism

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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