How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

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here is a good joke... your moms a bitch END OF STORY!

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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yo mamas so poor she should probably consider finding a job

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A: Why is that boy on the ground? B: He fell. A: Why did he fall? B: He tripped. A: Why did he trip? B: I tripped him. A: Why did you... B: BECAUSE I WANTED TO!

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

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What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops