If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy walk into a library. They were getting help from the Asian guy on their math homework.

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops