Yo mom as so dumb.... That she has a low IQ

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a white man say when you slug him in the face with a club. Ow.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the difference between the same pair of shoes? one shoe is for the left an one if for the right

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: Well, we can solve this problem of the wood chuck chucking our wood by putting all of your spare wood in a wood chipper. Try throwing dust you chucking bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +2

sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops