How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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There was a chicken. It squarked.

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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Bob Saget that is all

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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