A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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