A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

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Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A man walks into a bar he said oww when did this metel bar get here

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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whats the difference between the same pair of shoes? one shoe is for the left an one if for the right

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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don't just stand there

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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