A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? The one from the farm across the street. Can Randy come play outside?

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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