A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

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how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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So these two girls have a cup .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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