A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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what do you call people who keep reffering to the holocost , and cancer sufferers on this site? sad and sick individuals

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops