What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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