What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Im gay What about you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -22

While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops