What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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I regret everything.....

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops