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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

What's red, white, and blue? light purple

So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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