Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

#Hanging Degus

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If you were a pie I'd eat you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops