- Anti Joke

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Triceratops

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer