What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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Where's my tractor?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

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What's worse than a broke pencil TWO broken pencilz

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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8=> >->-o

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

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Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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