Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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White NBA players.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Q. How do you know when an asian has robbed your house?? A. Like any other thief, most of your expensive belongings will be gone it depends on duration of robbing and their morality

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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