Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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I like turtoes.

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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