If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Once upon a time a was born

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

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What do you call a gay black man? Whatever his name happens to be

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Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

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A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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Hobos are like Obama they want change.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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