Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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A man walks into a bar

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nothing

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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Why are you so stupid? Becuse I spelled because wrong

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

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How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops