Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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What's up with women with there jewlery it's there's best friend,but a black man's best friend is reames..

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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