There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the black man purchase a gun? Because the man enjoys to go hunting in his spare time.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops