Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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karn chevalier

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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Women's rights.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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