Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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