Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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