why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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