A seal walks into a club.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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