An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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