what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What african eat for christmas Sand.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops