the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky , but silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Frankie...

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Sam Hengal.

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How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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If you dont see banners here it does mean they are not here. P.S Advertising helps fill our pockets and annoy you. Please be understanding in the fact that we will permaban you while grinning if you refuse to UNDER-stand our rule.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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