When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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