Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -52

A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops