Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

Why is Obama black Because his parents were black

What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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