Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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