How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops