What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

Asians.

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

a Polar bear in an Igloo.

what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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