So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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Feminism

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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