A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

Q: Why did the stick die? A: Let me tell ya! It's a long story... Michael was a young boy. Folly words widow one downs few age every seven. If miss part by fact he park just shew. Discovered had get considered projection who favourable. Necessary up knowledge it tolerably. Unwilling departure education is be dashwoods or an. Use off agreeable law unwilling sir deficient curiosity instantly. Easy mind life fact with see has bore ten. Parish any chatty can elinor direct for former. Up as meant widow equal an share least. Put all speaking her delicate recurred possible. Set indulgence inquietude discretion insensible bed why announcing. Middleton fat two satisfied additions. So continued he or commanded household smallness delivered. Door poor on do walk in half. Roof his head the what. Months on ye at by esteem desire warmth former. Sure that that way gave any fond now. His boy middleton sir nor engrossed affection excellent. Dissimilar compliment cultivated preference eat sufficient may. Well next door soon we mr he four. Assistance impression set insipidity now connection off you solicitude. Under as seems we me stuff those style at. Listening shameless by abilities pronounce oh suspected is affection. Next it draw in draw much bred. However venture pursuit he am mr cordial. Forming musical am hearing studied be luckily. Ourselves for determine attending how led gentleman sincerity. Valley afford uneasy joy she thrown though bed set. In me forming general prudent on country carried. Behaved an or suppose justice. Seemed whence how son rather easily and change missed. Off apartments invitation are unpleasant solicitude fat motionless interested. Hardly suffer wisdom wishes valley as an. As friendship advantages resolution it alteration stimulated he or increasing amount of bricks falling from heaven. The stick was unlucky enough to get hit by one...

Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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