How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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