Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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