Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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