- Anti Joke

Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

Christanity One Womans Excuse of Not Having an Affair Got Totaly Out of Hand

Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

Jack was taking his family’s prized cow to market to sell; times were hard, the coming winter was sure to be harsh and they needed money and supplies desperately. On his way, a strange old man stopped him in his path saying ”Say there, son; that’s quite a fine cow you’ve got there! How would you like to trade?” Jack looked forlorn at his cow and replied, “Sorry, mister, unless you’ve got the 200 gold pieces my papa wants me to get for her at market, I can’t!” The old man cackled and danced in a small circle and said “But you’ve no idea what I have to offer!” He reached into his pocket and revealed several small beans; “I’ll give you the LOT of these for your cow!” Jack smirked and said “Why would I trade a whole cow for handful of dumb ol’ beans?” The man laughed and danced again, “These are no ORDINARY beans!! They are MAGICAL beans!! Why, plant but ONE of these beans, even in the harshest, driest of weather, and it will you feed your family for 20 years with enough left over to sell at market making your family wealthy beyond your wildest imaginings! Why, you could buy a HERD of cattle, each finer than this one you have here!” Jack thought this over for a few seconds, wondering at how proud his father would be were he to bring home such a fine prize! Anxiously, Jack agreed; he handed over the cows leash to the old man and ran home as fast as his legs could carry him, the magic beans clenched tightly in his sweaty fist. He burst in the door shouting “Mama, papa! Come see what I’ve got!” Jack’s mother, father and two little brothers came rushing into the room where Jack proudly displayed the magic beans in his outstretched hand. “We’re going to be rich and never go hungry again!” Jack’s mother looked confusedly at the beans; “You traded our last cow… for a few beans?” “Yup,” replied Jack, brimming with pride; “ the old man said just ONE of these is enough to feed us for 20 years!” Jack’s father grabbed the beans out of Jack’s hand and threw them out the window before proceeding to beat Jack quite severely, breaking his arm, fracturing several of his ribs and covering him with every manner of welt and lesion before Jack’s mother, through panic and tears, was able to stop her husband from killing their eldest son. Jack soon after took ill as several of the lesions became gangrenous. They amputated his arm, but it was too late; the infection had spread and Jack died within the month. By that time, winter had come and it was every bit as harsh as they thought it would be; Jack’s little brothers both died of starvation and Jack’s Mother turned to selling her shriveled, malnourished body to any wayward traveler who would have her for a pittance. Shamed and in mourning, Jack’s father took to drinking heavily at the local tavern. One night, through the drunken haze he overheard the barkeep telling a rapt group of listeners about how he’d heard about an old man who’d duped some dumb kid out of his family’s prized cow for a few beans and that same old man was currently in prison serving 5 years for man-on-cow acts of bestiality. Jack’s father ran out into the night, wailing and crying, deep into the woods to escape the shame of it all. A pack of wolves heard him and attacked and killed him. Also, Jack’s mother got syphilis. Moral of the story: children will ruin your life.

Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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