Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Not a joke.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops