Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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Yo Mamma

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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