A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

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i like men but im not gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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You mean I have to type in this little box? That's so embarrassing!

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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Knock knock

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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