Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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