Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

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A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

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Barack Obama.

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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